Author Archives: steve.dodge

New Book, Short Orders is Out!

Hello! I’m excited to announce that my new book, Short Orders, is out!

The book is a compilation of short stories, flash fiction and humor, and is available wherever new books are sold.

However, I am encouraging potential buyers to look first to your local independent bookstore. Mine is Broadway Books, where they are kindly stocking my book on their shelves. Thank you Sally and Kim!

Here’s their link to my book:

You can also get the book from the non-profit bookshop.org

So, here’s a bit more about the book:

Author: Steve Dodge
Title: Short Orders
Publisher: Message in a Bottle Press
ISBN: 9798988144106
Price: $9.95 Trade Paperback

Synopsis:

A man loses his bionic head. The new neighbors appear to have no bodies. A shape-shifting boss. Vast herds of cats. This eclectic mix of short stories, flash fiction, humor, and satire is designed to tickle the funny bone and provide a bit of food for thought.

Excerpt from Short Orders: The New Neighbors

Right from the beginning there was something odd about the new neighbors. They seemed very nice, a typical young couple with a cute little boy. They came and went just like everyone else, were quiet at night and friendly as we talked over the fence. They had a couple of cats which walked on the fence, but stayed on their side of the property.

In short, the new people were the perfect neighbors — not a bit of bother. But still, something seemed off. When I talked to the man over the fence, he seemed normal. He was clean cut, good looking and projected friendliness. Maybe I figured, it was just strange that all I had seen of him and his wife were their heads, bobbing above the fence as they arrived and departed. I only knew they had a boy from his voice and his dad talking with him.

Finally one day, I heard the family out in front of their house, and curiosity got the better of me. I got a short step ladder, leaned it on a tree near the fence and peered over. The three of them were talking excitedly about an upcoming trip. The back of their SUV was open and full of bags, a box of food and a cooler. The man was turned towards his wife as the little boy hovered nearby. “Hovered” is the perfect term as, you see, the little boy had no body. Neither did his parents. All three were nothing more than heads which somehow floated five or six feet above the ground.

How they packed their car or did anything else I do not know, but they floated into the car, the tailgate closed and they drove off. I never saw them or their cats again.


Did you enjoy this story? Hope so! Check out my new book, Short Orders, for more of the same!

One Icy Morning at the Office

When she came into the office that icy morning, she wasn’t surprised that no one else was there. After all, the roads were slick and dangerous, schools were closed and all but essential travel discouraged. Also, she lived the closest, and had walked to work, a dangerous journey in itself with ice coating the streets and the sidewalks.

But someone was there somewhere, because the front door was unlocked and the lights were on. The aroma of coffee brewing back in the staff room wafted into the front office. The reception desk was unoccupied, odd, she thought, despite the weather, as the receptionist was religiously punctual, lived nearby and when it came to work, was a one of those hell or high water types.

She walked gingerly back to the staff room, and there he was. The boss, of course. The man took his job so seriously he likely would have been there even if a hurricane had leveled the building. Small wonder he was divorced and estranged from his children. He sat a table glaring at her.

“Late again Kelly. How many times have I told you about this?” She started to mention the ice and the fact that she was a mere five minutes late. She was also going to mention the late night the previous evening when even the boss had gone home, but he waved her off. “I don’t want to hear it.” He caressed his conservative tie with one hand and pointed at her with the other: “You’re fired. And I just might have to eat you.”

What? She had heard and half expected the fired part, but did he say something about eating her? She looked up through tears and noticed he had changed. He had always been a big guy, overweight and domineering, but now he looked decidedly like a toad – and he was getting bigger.

She stepped back instinctively and watched as the toad man grew wider and taller. The harsh look she had first witnessed had changed to a malevolent, hungry look. The great toad mouth was moving and began to open.

The look on its face morphed quickly to one of surprise and shock as her giant lizard jaws grabbed his head, chewed once or twice and gulped him down whole. In an instant, she returned to her previous human form and headed back to her desk in the front, a funny little smile on her face.

In the staff room, all was as before, with nary a chair out of place. Only the coffeepot showed any signs that anything had occurred, the coffee at first sloshing wildly back in forth in a black tsunami, slowing to a rocking wave, and finally, settling back to a calm, steaming lake.

Ah, a bit of employee revenge! If you liked this story, you will find it and more in my new book, Short Orders. Thanks for reading!